Mom refuses to give out son's savings account information after grandmother demands the details so she can make a deposit: 'Just give me cash'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 26, 2026 6:00 PM EST

It is possible that this mom took her son's privacy one step too far.

Do you remember how fun it was to get money from your relatives on holidays and birthdays? You'd collect all that cash, the bills, and the coins, and put it in a cherished piggy bank until you had no choice but to empty it out. Then, you would either spend it all on something you've been faithfully saving for or hand the money over to your parents so they can put it in an actual savings account that they promise will serve you in the future. 

It was great, being in charge of this small fortune, feeling so rich that you could buy anything your heart desired. 

The mom in this story seems like she wants the same thing for her son. She set up a special savings account for him, and she makes monthly deposits to it to ensure her son has a decent savings when he grows up. Anytime a family member gives her son money, she immediately puts it in his account, and even tracks the progress from her bank app to keep everything in order.

So far, a great way to handle finances on behalf of her young boy. 

But here is where she might have taken it too far. Except for her and her husband, no one knows the details of her son's savings account. She doesn't want anyone to make a direct deposit there, and insists that any money that needs to go to her son should go through her first. If a family member wants to give him cash, she takes it and deposits it herself, and if someone wants to make a bank transfer, they have to do it to her account, and she will then move it to her son's.

If you ask us, it shouldn't be a big deal if she gives her son's bank details to someone like his grandmother, so she can set up monthly deposits for him too. But the mother disagrees. It doesn't matter to her that this information is not sensitive; she simply wants to keep it completely private. When she explained that to her mother-in-law, she did not take it well, and has been refusing to talk to the mom ever since…

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  • Woman in a dress holding a Piggy Bank
    via Kristina Paukshtite

    Woman in a dress holding a Piggy Bank.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITAH for refusing to give out my son's saving account information?

    A couple years ago I set up a special savings account for my son. Monthly we deposit $25 into it as well as a small chunk of our tax return money every year, we hope to increase the amount one day but for now this is what we can afford.
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • On top of that, anytime family gives us money for his savings I immediately transfer money from our bank account into my son's savings.
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • Currently I am the only one who has access to it, because my husband wasn't able to make it to the bank the day I set it up because he was called into work on his day off, which s ks but it is what it is for now.
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • I don't hide the account information from my husband and he knows how much is in it and he can see the monthly withdrawals from our joint account into the savings account and he can ask at any time to see the account from my bank app.
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • He is the only person I ever want to have access to it until our son is older.
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • The problem is my MIL has decided she wants to deposit money into his account monthly, I told her to either give me cash or deposit it into our joint account and I will transfer it but she wants my son's savings account information.
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • I told her very simply that I would not be giving out my son's account information to anyone and that the two options I gave her were the only options she had.
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • She was definitely not happy by that but I do not care because I refuse to give out my son's private information.
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • This was back in December and we haven't seen her since because we've been sick a lot, but she usually texts me every so often and she hasn't reached out to me since the last visit which is very unusual for her.
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • I wonder if she is really that upset and if IATAH for refusing to give her that information.
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • Tl;dr MIL wants access to son's savings account to make monthly deposits but I wont give her access, will let her deposit into our joint account or give us cash for me to transfer but she is upset she can't get access.
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • Boy in Gray Long Sleeve Shirt Putting Coins in a Piggy Bank
    via Alex P

    Boy in Gray Long Sleeve Shirt Putting Coins in a Piggy Bank.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Equivalent Lemon_319 "but she wants my son's savings account information" Like, just the account # to transfer or the login information? There's a difference
    via Equivalent_Lemon_319
  • moonmanbaby90272 Original Poster's Reply I didn't clarify what she was referring to, I assume it was the account and routing numbers to make a transfer but it's not something I would give out anyways. Multiple family members know we have the account, that's why many of them give us cash for his birthday or Christmas and they know I just transfer money directly into his savings.
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • Equivalent Lemon_319 Tbh I think you at least should have, or came at it more calmly, because jumping straight to "I REFUSE TO GIVE OUT MY SON'S PRIVATE INFORMATION" sends a message to her that you think she'd do something nefarious, which I think she is right to be upset by when all she wanted to do was deposit money towards his future. Either way you're the parent so it's up to you, but you probably gave her more attitude than what was necessary.
    via Equivalent_Lemon_319
  • moonmanbaby90272 Original Poster's Reply Tbh I can see that but I have had a lot of issues with her disregarding boundaries and simple requests that when she made it clear she wanted the information I put my foot down quickly to avoid it going any further. She is nice to an extent but she has a ugly side to her that I always feel like I have to try and play nice with but when it comes to protecting my son I refuse to play nice. I feel that if her intentions were truly to help him than she would
    via moonmanbaby90272
  • Stellar_Jay8 It's a pretty normal ask for routing and account numbers so she can wire money. She wouldn't be able to see details or remove any...
    via Stellar_Jay8
  • facinationstreet If you only share the account # information, she will ONLY be able to deposit money. She cannot ask for balance information, she cannot add herself to the account, withdraw money, etc. providing the account is with a reputable bank.
    via facinationstreet
  • temp7542355 If you set up a 529 account some have a deposit link just for this purpose. It probably would be worth your time to check out your state's options.
    via temp7542355
  • Aduiavas Giving out an account number won't compromise the account. Many people have my bank account number, that doesn't mean they can access the money there. They can deposit money into it, but not take it out. I've added my parents on my main account mainly because it's good to have a back up in case I lose my login, but that's because I trust them. My grandparents send me money on my birthday and some other occasions, but they wouldn't be able to take it out.
    via Aduiavas
  • Acrobatic_Jaguar_623 NTA, But.......it's kinda dumb. She can't withdraw money from it only deposit so why are you worried?
    via Acrobatic_Jaguar_623
  • Itls YoNoHeSido I don't think that you understand how bank accounts work. She can't get ANY information about his account just from the account number and sort code. All she can do is put money in. Why would that be a problem?
    via ItlsYoNoHeSido
  • Deflated_Hypnotist YTA Giving someone the account and routing info to make a deposit doesn't give them access You're just making it harder for her to give your kid money for no reason
    via Deflated_Hypnotist

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bank family drama cash kids mother parenting family grandmother savings money women parents children Father
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